Where Do We Go From Here?
by amksschristian
Summary: Kensi and Deeks, 5 years in the future
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 _A/N: Roughly 5 years after Kensi and Deeks get married. In this story, they get married 4 months after the events in Los Mochis, Mexico. Please enjoy. Review :)_

Kensi and Deeks walked into work that day fighting, like they'd been doing more and more.

"No, Deeks, she's not going into a daycare. We are perfectly fine with the nanny." Kensi said as she sat down at her desk.

"Daycare will be good for Finnli. She could use the social interaction." Deeks said, arguing his point.

"She'll be in kindergarten in two years, she can wait until then. She already has a better life then both of us had. So, her not going to daycare will be alright. Can we please just drop this?" Kensi said, realizing people were staring.

"We're dropping this now, but it'll be brought up later. This is not over." Deeks said, quite sternly.

Kensi huffed as she angrily turned on her computer, not happy with the conversation they'd just had.

For the rest of the day, things were tense between the couple. Of course they'd had disagreements before but nothing like this, before they had Finnli. They loved their daughter, more than anything, but they didn't necessarily see eye to eye on how to paret her.

Deeks was a helicopter parent. He was always there, no less tha a few feet behind her. He was an overprotective papa bear.

Kensi, on the other hand, was a tough love parent. That's how her dad was with her, and his parents before him. It ran in the Blye family. It was somewhat of a tradition. Kensi was willing to let her explore and fall down and get back up, without intervention.

Kensi wanted to let their daughter fall down and get back up by herself, but because Deeks was always right behind, he caught her before she even hit the floor. When their daughter was 6 months old, they'd bought a box of bandaids. They'd used only 4 of a box of 100 bandaids, and she's now 3.

After a day filled with tension, it was finally quitting time. Sam and Callen had left about 30 minutes before Kensi and Deeks started packing up.

"Honestly Deeks, I don't understand why you are so adamant about putting Fin in a daycare. She is perfectly fine with the nanny. She loves the nanny. I love the nanny. But you insist on putting her inn a daycare. A placed filled with snot-nosed, germ-ridden, crying, screamin, and possibly violent kids. I don't want to put her in that environment."

"I thought you were the tough love parent. I thought you wanted to let her swim into the deep and and hope she doesn't drown."

"Yeah, and I thought you were the helicopter parent. I thought you'd have quit your job the day you found out I was pregnant. I thought you would've worked as a stay at home parent. So, I guess our perceptions of each other are slighly scewed."

"Is that what you want me to do? Do you want me to stay at home with her, while you risk your life everyday?"

"I'm not saying that, Deeks. I'm saying that that's what i thought you wanted."

" I don't know what I want anymore, Kens. I don't know." He said, defeatedly.

"That's fine. I'm gonna stay here and you can go home to her. It'll give us time to thinkk and calm down."

"No I'll stay. Go homr and stay with her."

"Fine." Kensi said.

She silently grabbed her bag and walked away from the bullpen, and out the exit.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning, Kensi had woken up in a cold bed. It had taken her a few moments to remember what had happened. They'd had a fight and Deeks stayed at the mission.

Kensi stayed in bed for a few minutes, checked her phone, and then got up and walked into the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, Kensi opened the door and immediately felt a cold hand on her mouth. Kensi turned her head and saw a guy dressed in all black. He had a gun on his right hip. Kensi looked outside to her gun sitting on her dresser in the bedroom. Kensi struggled in the intruder's grip. She elbowed him in the chest and then kneed him in the balls. He was down almost in an instant, but Kensi could see he was reaching for his gun.

Kensi quickly ran out and grabbed her gun off the dresser and held it up to his head.

"Drop the gun or I blow your brains out." Kensi said, in a hushed tone.

"You drop the gun." He said as she weakly pointed the gun at her torso, still in agony.

To show she wasn't kidding, Kensi grazed his left arm.

"Son of a bitch!" He cried out as he felt the pain of the bullet.

"Are you gonna drop the gun now?"

"Fine. You win." He said as he dropped the gun.

Kensi kicked it away from his reach and put her foot on his chest.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, you're gonna do that. Well, then the LAPD can have you. Let's go." Kensi said as she put her gun in the waistband of her pants and pulled up the guy.

Kensi pulled him into the bedroom with her, picked up handcuffs, pushed him back to the bathroom, and handcuffed him to the shower curtain rod.

"Don't move. Oh wait, you can't." She said as she walked back into the bedroom to call 911.

The cops showed up in a few minutes and Kensi told them to take the burglar to the station for holding. They escorted him out of the house and Kensi immediately went to check on Finnli.

"Mama?" Fin said, her baby blues looking up at her mom, tears forming in her eyes.

"It's ok, baby. Mama's here." Kensi said as she cradled her daughter. She kissed her daughter's dirty blonde hair over and over, trying to reassure her that she was ok.

"Where dada?" Finnli said, missing her dad.

"We're gonna go see daddy. Let's just pack you a bag."

Kensi quickly rummaged around Finnli's room and packed some essentials in a bag. After she finished, she picked up the bag and Finnli, walked out to the living room, picked up her and Deeks' go bag, and left the house. She headed strait to Ops.

"Hetty, I know I'm not supposed to have her here, but my house was just broken into. I just wanted her safe." Kensi said, trying to explain to Hetty why she had brought her daughter to work with her.

"It's alright, Mrs. Deeks. I understand."

"You already knew about the break-in, didn't you?"

"What do you think?"

"Right."

Kensi walked over to the bullpen, still holding her daughter tight to her chest.

"What is my favorite little niece doing here?" Sam asked, seeing the toddler in Kensi's arms.

"It's a long story, that I have to tell my husband first. Why don't you go hang out with Uncle Sam?" She said giving her daughter to Sam.

Kensi walked over to where Deeks sitting on the couch, and sat down.

"What's going on? What happened? Is Finnli ok?" Deeks rambled.

"Yeah, Finnli's alright. A little scared, but unharmed."

"What happened?"

"When I woke up, I discovered a burglar in our bathroom. He had a gun, and almost shot me."

"Oh my god, Kensi, are you ok?"

"Yes, Deeks, I'm fine. I'm better now that Finnli's safe."

"So, what did you do with the guy? Did he look familiar? Former suspect?"

"He's at the police station, downtown, and no, I don't recognize him."

"I'll go down and interrogate him." Deeks said, starting to get up.

"No, it can wait. Go say hi to your daughter. She missed you."

"Ok."

Deeks got up, put a smile on his face, and walked over to his daughter.

"Hi, baby."

"Dada!" Fin squealed as she ran into Deeks' open arms.

"How's my baby girl?"

"I'm good."

"That's good hear. Why don't you and Uncle Sam find something to eat while mama and I talk for a little bit? Ok?" Deeks said, looking up at Sam with pleading eyes.

"Ok, Dada."

Sam took Fin from Deeks and the two walked of the Bullpen.

Callen followed shortly behind his partner, giving the husband and wife some privacy.

"God, I was scared." Kensi admitted.

"Are you sure Fin is ok?" Deeks asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah. I'm sure she's ok. She was just scared because of the gunshot."

"What do you mean 'gunshot'?"

"I grazed the guy in the arm. Just to show him I wasn't kidding about him putting the gun down or I would blow his brains out."

"I'm sorry you had to go through this."

"It's ok. I'm fine."

"Can you please rethink the daycare? What if this were to happen while she was with the babysitter? What then? At least at a daycare they have safety measures for threats."

"I know, but I'm still apprehensive about it."

"But why? Why are you so against this?"

"I don't really know. I just am. I can't explain it."

"Fine."

"Deeks, I have something to tell you."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant." She said, as she hung her head. She immediately had tears forming in her eyes.

"When did you find out?"

"Last week, at the annual physical."

"You've known for a week and you didn't tell me."

"I'm sorry." She said as she let the tears freely fall.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just shocked. This isn't exactly the best time."

"I know."

"Come here." He said as she brought her in for a hug. "We'll be ok. This is a good thing. Our family is growing."

"Yeah."

"How about we go get our daughter and we have a day at the beach?"

"What about the burglar?"

"LAPD will take care of him. I'll make some calls."

"Ok. Let's take a whole family beach day. Callen, Sam, the Wonder Twins. Everyone."

"Ok. Let's go get them."

Deeks and Kensi walked hand-in-hand to the gym where they knew the guys had Finnli.

"Hi baby." Kensi said as she hugged her daughter. "Let's take a beach day. Callen, call Anna. Sam, call Aiden and Lissa. Deeks will go get the Wonder Twins."

"That sounds like fun." Sam said.

The team called their respective families and Kensi started helping Fin clean up her toys.

"Mama, can I surf?" Fin asked.

"We don't have your board, baby."

"But I wanna surf." She whined.

"Maybe some other time."

"No!" She yelled, clearly about to throw a full blown temper tantrum.

"Stop it, Fin. You're not gonna surf today, and that's that."

"But I wanna surf!" She yelled again as she started crying.

"Stop crying."

"I wanna surf!"

"Finnli Andrea Blye Deeks, stop crying right now."

"No!"

"Ok, you're not going to the beach."

"I wanna go to the beach."

"Then stop crying."

Finnli stopped crying and hugged her mom's legs.

"Come here." Kensi said as she picked up Fin and cradled her. "You can't cry every time you don't get what you want. Ok?"

"Ok." Fin said as she buried her her head in Kensi's neck. Kensi rubbed her daughter's back, and finished repacking Fin's backpack.

"Wow, Kens. That was impressive." Sam said, admiring Kensi's ability to calm Finnli down.

"It wasn't hard. Her temper tantrums don't last very long anyway."

"Yeah, but I've never seen in action when it comes to motherhood."

"Well thank you. It's good to know I'm doing something right."

 _ **A/N:Callen and Anna have a baby on the way, Aiden and his wife Lissa just celebrated their 1st wedding anniversary, and the Wonder Twins have been married for 3 years and have a 5 month old son named Conner.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The entire team went to the beach, within 30 minutes of the idea coming to light. Anna, Aiden, and Lissa met them their, and the Wonder Twins did as well. They had picked up their son at daycare.

"Did you ever think we'd have this?" Kensi asked her husband, as they sat on the beach together.

"Have what?"

"Have a big, beautiful family. Our daughter has a cousin, and one on the way. She has aunts, and uncles, and grandmas. She is so loved."

"I had hoped we'd have this. I'm very happy that we do."

"I'm nervous to have another baby. I don't know if I can do it."

"Kensi, you can do anything. You're Wonder Woman. You are amazing."

"I'm almost 41, Deeks, and you're older than me. We have a 3 year old who needs us. How are we gonna have another baby?"

"Are you questioning this baby?"

"I don't know. I mean of course I want the baby, I'm just nervous about how hard it will be."

"I really don't know what I can say that will make you believe we'll be ok."

"I don't know either."

"You were just as nervous, if not more with Fin. You questioned your ability as a mother everyday. This is our second baby. We will be ok. This baby will be loved, and cherished, and happy, and hopefully healthy."

"That's the other thing. The older I get, the more chances of birth defects there are. What are we gonna do if our baby has Autism, or Down Syndrome, or growth problems, or learning problems? What if I have a stillbirth?"

"Kensi, you're a healthy, fit 40 year old. Our baby will be fine."

"And if it's not? What then, Deeks?"

"Then we will cross that bridge when it comes."

"Do you know how hard life is for a person with disability? They're at risk of being bullied at school, never being able to find a job, living at home for the rest of their parents' lives, becoming homeless, needing assistance for the rest of their life. Do you want that for our child? Do you want to go through that?"

"Kensi, if that is something we have to go through, then I will do it. I will love our child, no matter what. And if you're really worried, then there's genetic testing we can do. We can find out if Down Syndrome is gonna be an issue, or any other genetic disorder."

"But what if it is? Am I just supposed to terminate the pregnancy?"

"No. We prepare ourselves. We learn as much as we can about parenting a disabled child, and when they come, we give the unconditional love. We give them the help they need and we do it for as long as we can. Right?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to terminate if we found out the baby has Downs?"

"I don't know, Deeks. I really don't."

"If you don't know, then why are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Having kids. Being married. Why are we doing this?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"This is something you talk about when you're engaged, so that if you don't agree, you can break off the engagement and break up. Not when you're 5 years into marriage and have one child and one on the way."

"Deeks, are you telling me you want to break up?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should take break. Just got a few months. Just take some time to ourselves, and fix our marriage."

"We have a child! And I'm pregnant with another one! We can't break up!" Kensi yelled.

"Not break up. Just take a break."

"What's the fucking difference? We have a child to worry about. We can't just take a break from our relationship."

"Why can't we? We can work out a schedule with her, and we can live in two different houses. We'll still see each other at work."

"This is the worst idea you have ever had. You are such an idiot!"

"Oh, now you've resorted to name calling. You can be so childish, Kensi."

"You're calling me childish? You're the one who wants to run back to mama just because things are hard right now."

"A break will be good for us."

"Why are you choosing to do this right now? Today has been one of the worst days for our family, and you are only making it worse."

"It's not like I planned for a burglar. I'm sorry for what happened this morning. I really am, are problems have been going on for far longer then yesterday and today. We have been fighting since Fin was born. We need a break."

"Fine. Then I'll take Fin, and you can go off by yourself."

"You can't just take my child away from me!"

"Well, you said you wanted a break. I'm giving you a break."

"I want a break from you!"

"Fine! I'm leaving! We are done!" Kensi yelled as she threw her wedding ring at Deeks and stormed off to the parking lot. By this time, the pair had gathered the attention of the team.

"Deeks, what happened?" Nell asked as she walked over to him.

"Um, Kensi just broke up with me."

"What!?"

"I need to go. I'm sorry. Can you take Fin for the night? Here's her bag."

"We'll take her, Deeks." Anna said."

"Ok. Thank you."

"It's no problem. Just go talk to Kensi."

"Yeah, I will if I can find her."

Deeks walked over to the car, and drove off. He needed to calm down before he went to look for Kensi.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kensi watched as Deeks drove off. She was sitting on a bench on the sidewalk. She decided she should go try to explain what happened to the team.

"Kensi, what happened?" Nell asked.

"Deeks and I had a fight and I, Uh, I broke up with him." She said as tears started filling her eyes.

"Are you gonna be ok?"

"I don't know right now. I just wanted to say goodnight to Finnli before I leave."

"How are you gonna get home? Deeks took the car."

"I'm not going home. I'm gonna go to the store and buy some things and then sleep at a hotel. I'll just call an Uber."

"Ok. Anna and Callen are gonna take Fin for the night."

"Ok." Kensi walked over to Fin who was in Anna's arms, and said goodbye.

Kensi ordered an Uber, went to the store, and then went to hotel about 3 miles away from the Deeks household.

Kensi stayed there all night, but didn't really sleep at all. She couldn't get her mind to shut off. She just kept playing their conversation in her head, trying to see where things started to turn south. She was trying to figure out how she the hell they went from talking about their daughter having a wonderful family, to breaking up with each other. She wished she could just go back. But unfortunately, what's done is done, and she can't

She "woke up" around 7, got ready, and went downstairs for the free breakfast. Luckily, morning sickness hadn't sunk in yet, so she could eat whatever she wanted in the mornings.

Once she finished eating, she went back up to her room, packed all of her stuff in a new backpack she had gotten, and called an Uber to take her to her and Deeks' house.

Once the Uber dropped her off, she hesitated to go in. She was pretty sure he was gonna be there, and they would fight again.

She slowly turned the key, and walked into something she had never imagined she would see in a million years. Deeks and another woman were naked on the couch, kissing.

When Deeks saw Kensi, he pushed the girl off of himself.

"Kensi! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I live here. But apparently not anymore. You are a disgusting pig. You will never see me or your children again!" She said as she turned out and slammed the door behind her.

Kensi ran to her car, and cried. She sobbed for what felt like hours but was really only a few minutes. She couldn't believe he would cheat on her. Maybe he had been doing it for a long time. Maybe it was just a one night thing. Either way, he still cheated on her. She would never forgive him, as long as she was alive.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kensi drove around for awhile, until she decided she was ready to face their—her daughter.

"Hey Callen." Kensi said as Callen opened the front door to his house.

"Hey Kens. Fin's still sleeping. I figured she needed the rest. Have you had breakfast yet? Anna's making pancakes if you want them." Callen said, as she stepped in and he closed the door.

"Uh, sure. That would be lovely." She said, accepting the offer.

Callen took Kensi to the room Fin was sleeping in, hoping Kensi could wake her up.

"Come on, Fin. Wake up."

Fin started to stir, and Kensi put a warm hand on her daughter's back.

"Hi Mama." Fin said sleepily.

"Come on, baby. Uncle Len and Auntie Anna are making breakfast. Let's get you dressed."

"Ok."

Fin put her arms up, showing that she wanted to be picked up by her mother. Kensi obliged and picked her daughter out of the bed. She then pulled out some clothes from Fin's go bag and dressed her daughter. After she was dressed, Kensi carried Fin into the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and then combed her beach waves.

"Morning, Auntie." Finnli said to Anna as Kensi carried her into the kitchen.

"Good morning my little Finni. How are you this morning?" Anna asked.

"Good."

"Are you hungry?"

Finnli simply nodded her head.

"So, did you talk to Deeks?" Anna asked Kensi.

"I don't really know if talking is the right word." Kensi said, not wanting to get into too much detail.

"What happened?"

"Um, hang on." Kensi turned to Finnli. "Fin, why don't you go watch cartoons with Uncle Len?"

"Ok Mama." Finnli said as she waddled into the living room where Callen was.

"So, I stayed at a hotel last night. I woke up this morning, and decided to face my fears and go try to talk with him. I went to the house, opened the door, and found him naked on the couch with a naked woman on top of him."

"What!?"

"Yeah. I told him that he will never see Fin again. I'm done."

"I'm so sorry, Kensi. That's awful."

"It is. It hurts, a lot. We've been through so much together. We've known each other for 15 years. We've been married for 5 of those years. We have a daughter, and another child on the way."

"You're pregnant!"

"I am, but he will never even see this baby if I can help it."

"But you're taking his children away from him."

"He lost the right to his children, the minute he laid hands on her."

"Are you gonna file for divorce?"

"Eventually, I will. I just have to calm down first before I start the process."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"He broke my heart. He lost my trust. I am done with him."

"But you said it yourself. You've been together for 15 years. That's 15 years of ups and downs and ins and outs. How could you just give up so easily?"

"Whose side are you on?"

"I'm on Fin's side. I know that she's gonna need her parents, both of them."

"I am perfectly capable of raising her by myself."

"I'm not saying you aren't, but I saw how hard my mom struggled, and I was just one child. You have two."

"I know how hard it is as well. My mom left my dad and I when I was young. My dad raised me by himself for awhile. I'm prepared to raise them by myself. Deeks is not gonna be in their lives."

"Ok."

Anna finished making breakfast, and Callen brought Fin back into the kitchen, and the 4 started eating while making small talk. They finished eating in roughly 30 minutes, and Kensi gathered Fin's things. Kensi said goodbye and left with Fin right behind her.

Kensi decided they would go to her mom's house, and she would ask if they could stay there for a little while.

"Hi, mom." Kensi said as her mom opened the door.

"Hi Kensi. What are you doing here with Fin?"

"I wanted to talk about something, and I have her because of that something."

"Ok. Come in. You can put her in the playroom."

"Ok." Kensi carried Fin into the playroom. She left Fin to play, and then walked back out to the living room.

"So, what's going on?"

"I'm leaving Deeks."

"You're what?"

"Yesterday Deeks and I were in a fight. We broke up. This morning I went to the house, and saw him naked on the couch with a naked woman on top of him. I told him that he will never see me or Fin again."

"I'm so sorry Kensi. I thought he was a good man and a good husband and father. I never thought he would do something like that."

"Neither did I. He broke my heart and lost all my trust. And to make matters worse, I'm pregnant again."

"What are you gonna do with the baby?"

"I'm gonna raise Fin and the baby by myself."

"What are you gonna do about your job?"

"I guess I have to quit."

"Then where are you gonna work?"

"I don't know yet. This all just happened in the last 24 hours. I haven't thought about a lot yet. I wanted to ask if we could stay here for a little bit. Just until I can find some place else."

"You can stay here as long as you need. I can spend some much needed time with my granddaughter."

"Thank you, mom."

"Of course, Kensi. I wouldn't want you and Fin to be homeless."

"Would you mind watching Fin for a little bit? I'm gonna go get some of our things from the house, and I really don't want him to ever see her again."

"Sure. She'll be safe here."

"Thank you. I'll be back when I get back, I guess."

"Ok."

Kensi walked out to her car, started it, and drove off towards what used to be her house.

When she got there, she had to build up enough courage to go inside. She wasn't sure what or who she was going to see.

Finally after sitting in her car for 30 minutes, she drives to go inside.

It kind of felt like déjà vu. Walking up to the house, unsure of what she was going to see.

She again slowly turned the key, and pushed open the door. She again saw Deeks on the couch, but this time he was alone. He had a bottle of tequila in his hand.

"I—," he started to say but was cut off by Kensi.

"Just don't speak. I'm getting some stuff and then leaving again." She said coldly.

"Can I explain?"

"There's nothing to explain. You had sex with another woman in our house. But it's whatever because technically we're broken up."

"That's not the whole story."

"Oh, so enlighten me." Kensi said as she stood in front of the couch.

"I went to a bar last night. I had taken off my ring. She noticed the tan line, and started flirting with me. One thing led to another and I decided to bring her here. I don't know why. I was just so mad at you and the world. I wanted to hurt you. We had sex on the couch, then we fell asleep."

"When we got married, you said vows to me. You vowed to be faithful to me! You vowed to cherish me! You vowed to love me!" She yelled the last three sentences.

"I know. And I can't say anything other than sorry."

"Saying sorry is promising to never do that thing again. I can't be sure that you won't do it again."

"I promise you that I won't ever do it again."

"I can't trust that, because apparently your promises mean nothing."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything. What's done is done. There is no going back. It's a shame that Fin won't have a father, but oh well."

"How are you gonna take care of her? She doesn't even like you! She's scared of you!" He fired back.

"How the hell could you say that? What kind of awful fucker are you?"

"I'm an amazing dad. I love her. You can't take her away from me."

"Oh yeah? Watch me."

"Fine. I'll take you to court. I'll try for full custody."

"You're gonna lose. Then you be a lonely, no good father and husband. Just like your father. Like father like son."

"Talk about awful fucker. Are you even listening to yourself?"

"You always feared you'd end up just like your dad. I guess you jinxed yourself."

"What is your problem, Kensi? I made a mistake. We've all made mistakes. I was mad at you, not Finnli. Finnli doesn't have anything to do with our argument."

"We're parents, Deeks. When you become a parent, every decision you make effects your child."

"Then just decide not to take her away from me."

"I'm not gonna do that."

"What the hell happened to us?" Deeks asked, defeatedly.

"We aren't the same people we were when we got together. We're different people. And becoming parents changed us. Maybe we were never meant for each other in the first place."

"Kensi, you and I both know that we are soulmates."

"Well, I don't think soulmates cheat on each other."

And she's right. People who are truly in love, don't cheat. But everyone makes mistakes and everyone is human. Maybe life is against you. Maybe it's your biggest enemy. Life is tough and the biggest journey you will ever take. Cherish it and love it and live it to the fullest. You only get one chance; there are no do overs.


	6. Author's Note Adressing The Reviews

**Author's** **Note**

Wow. The feedback that I got wasn't exactly something I expected. Thank you for reviewing.

I know that all of the reviews have questioned my decision to make Deeks an adulterer. I didn't expect to make this story a sad, angering, frustrating story. I'm still not really sure why I wrote this story, and kept it this way.

With that said, I don't exactly regret making this story. Most of my stories have happy endings, and I wanted this one to be unique.

I know that Deeks would never cheat on Kensi, especially if children were involved. For the record, I love NCIS:LA and the Densi relationship.

I didn't mean to offend anyone or make anyone mad. This is just a story. I meant no harm.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood person

Ps: Everyone is mentioning that it's not called breaking up when they're married. It is when they aren't getting a divorce. It is very possible to be married, break up, get back together or not, but not get divorced.


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